I met Fyodor when we were both freshmen in high school, and, being coming from near identical backgrounds, became close friends. Fyodor is a Russian student, current high school senior in Collegiate High school in New York City. He was raised by two Russian immigrants who came in the late 1970s. He is fluent in both English and Russian, although akin to many other new generation kids, uses English as his primary form of speaking, reading, and writing. He has found a duality between mixing his American and Russian cultures, celebrating football and St. Patrick’s Day as well as Labor Day (on May 1st) and the later Russian New Year during the first two weeks of January. Seeing as he was raised in a similar fashion to myself, I called him to ask some questions about his upbringing.
Nikita: As a child, what would you say was the most memorable part of your education?
Fyodor: I have to say, having my mother force me to fill out the Russian notebooks every day for an hour was pretty rough, especially on a four year old. I remember having to write line after line after line of script, and having my hands slapped every time I went out of the lines.
N: I remember those. I think I still have them lying around somewhere. I’m pretty sure every kid in hour situation still has nightmares over them. Do you think the education that your parents tried to push on you as a child has affected the way you studied further down the line, like in high school for example?
F: I think it totally did, I mean obviously it did. But not for the better, always. The fact that until about ninth grade my parents wanted to control every aspect of my education caused me to rebel in high school a bit. Just knowing that now I had a freedom, I no longer had to shuttle to math schools in Brooklyn, science camps in the Bronx, and my grandparents making me read Pushkin and Tolstoy in Russian caused me to lose a bit of steam for the first couple of years in high school. I messed around and partied a lot more than I should have, and more often than not, took a “screw it” attitude to my schoolwork. It was in junior year that I realized I had to step it up a bit. That’s when the method of studying that was forced on me as a kid came in handy. The fact that I was forced to sit in one place for extended periods of time and do mindless, tedious, work as a five year old prepared me to mindless, tedious work as a seventeen year old. So although the way my parents taught me caused me to rebel a lot, I had also been able to learn some skills that became surprisingly useful.
N: That really reminds me a lot of me. I really struggled through high school because my parents still wanted to raise me like a little kid and control the way I studied while I thought I knew best. So we really butted heads until end of junior year, where I found a good method of work that worked for both my parents and myself. I still don’t know if I should have fought back as hard, sometimes I think high school would have been easier if my mom was in total control but then again I had to grow up sometime, my mom can’t baby me until my forties.
F: I hear you
N: Do you think you’re high school experiences would have been different if you were raised in a more American style?
F: That’s hard to say. Actually, it isn’t, it would have been totally different. The specifics are hard to get into though, because the what-ifs are impossible to know. I think I would have probably rebelled less, fought back more, been better adjusted for high school and college because my parents would have gone through it all, maybe my grandparents. That may have made things easier to prepare for. I don’t know. It’s hard to say.
N: Alright, now that you are more or less grown up, being born and raised in New York for 17 years, what would you say are the parts of Russian and American culture that you associate with the most? Like, what do you think makes you the most American and the most Russian? Are there any crossovers?
F: I watch a lot of sports. That really helped me out, especially with the kids in my grade. I’ve been following, baseball, football, basketball, and soccer. But basketball is my main focus. So if anything, it’s that that makes me more American. I don’t know many natural Russian super into American professional and college basketball. As for the Russian, I think most things that I am and do makes me Russian. I always consider myself a full blooded Russian, before anything else. I mean, I celebrate the holidays, read the books, and enjoy the culture and even the stereotypes I embrace. This is a little harder to pick out than American culture
N: For sure, I get it. Anyway, last question, this one may be hard, but if you would have been raised differently, would you?
F: Ugh…I don’t think so to be honest. My upbringing wasn’t easy, I argued a lot, told my parents that my friends didn’t have it as hard as I did, pulled out every card that a kid might have. At the end of the day though, I think the way my parents raised me was good. I still have a good amount of growing up to do but I’m confident that I’m on the right path, and the way I was raised definitely is and will help me in the future. In short, no, I think I wouldn’t change my upbringing. Maybe less math camps. That’s about it.
Fyodor: I have to say, having my mother force me to fill out the Russian notebooks every day for an hour was pretty rough, especially on a four year old. I remember having to write line after line after line of script, and having my hands slapped every time I went out of the lines.
N: I remember those. I think I still have them lying around somewhere. I’m pretty sure every kid in hour situation still has nightmares over them. Do you think the education that your parents tried to push on you as a child has affected the way you studied further down the line, like in high school for example?
F: I think it totally did, I mean obviously it did. But not for the better, always. The fact that until about ninth grade my parents wanted to control every aspect of my education caused me to rebel in high school a bit. Just knowing that now I had a freedom, I no longer had to shuttle to math schools in Brooklyn, science camps in the Bronx, and my grandparents making me read Pushkin and Tolstoy in Russian caused me to lose a bit of steam for the first couple of years in high school. I messed around and partied a lot more than I should have, and more often than not, took a “screw it” attitude to my schoolwork. It was in junior year that I realized I had to step it up a bit. That’s when the method of studying that was forced on me as a kid came in handy. The fact that I was forced to sit in one place for extended periods of time and do mindless, tedious, work as a five year old prepared me to mindless, tedious work as a seventeen year old. So although the way my parents taught me caused me to rebel a lot, I had also been able to learn some skills that became surprisingly useful.
N: That really reminds me a lot of me. I really struggled through high school because my parents still wanted to raise me like a little kid and control the way I studied while I thought I knew best. So we really butted heads until end of junior year, where I found a good method of work that worked for both my parents and myself. I still don’t know if I should have fought back as hard, sometimes I think high school would have been easier if my mom was in total control but then again I had to grow up sometime, my mom can’t baby me until my forties.
F: I hear you
N: Do you think you’re high school experiences would have been different if you were raised in a more American style?
F: That’s hard to say. Actually, it isn’t, it would have been totally different. The specifics are hard to get into though, because the what-ifs are impossible to know. I think I would have probably rebelled less, fought back more, been better adjusted for high school and college because my parents would have gone through it all, maybe my grandparents. That may have made things easier to prepare for. I don’t know. It’s hard to say.
N: Alright, now that you are more or less grown up, being born and raised in New York for 17 years, what would you say are the parts of Russian and American culture that you associate with the most? Like, what do you think makes you the most American and the most Russian? Are there any crossovers?
F: I watch a lot of sports. That really helped me out, especially with the kids in my grade. I’ve been following, baseball, football, basketball, and soccer. But basketball is my main focus. So if anything, it’s that that makes me more American. I don’t know many natural Russian super into American professional and college basketball. As for the Russian, I think most things that I am and do makes me Russian. I always consider myself a full blooded Russian, before anything else. I mean, I celebrate the holidays, read the books, and enjoy the culture and even the stereotypes I embrace. This is a little harder to pick out than American culture
N: For sure, I get it. Anyway, last question, this one may be hard, but if you would have been raised differently, would you?
F: Ugh…I don’t think so to be honest. My upbringing wasn’t easy, I argued a lot, told my parents that my friends didn’t have it as hard as I did, pulled out every card that a kid might have. At the end of the day though, I think the way my parents raised me was good. I still have a good amount of growing up to do but I’m confident that I’m on the right path, and the way I was raised definitely is and will help me in the future. In short, no, I think I wouldn’t change my upbringing. Maybe less math camps. That’s about it.